it's been several nights I have my awful insomniac nights. you know the feeling when you lay on the bed but can't sleep, just curling and flipping your body, good things come in mind which make you unable to sleep because of the excess of happiness and bad things come in mind which make you unable to sleep too because it's depressing. I feel like an ill owl.
there has been many stories written about girls; completely packed with the gossips, theirs boys, dreams, fashion, jealousy and many others.
recently, this 19-year-old girl feel a new color in life, something related with girls.
I have a friend. she's a girl. and we spend many times together.
and there's once in time when me and this girl hanging out together a lot and suddenly there was something crossed in my head. it was seemly ended up in my head to compare myself with her. yes, it's a silly 19-year-old girl thingy.
and,, there came feelings when I was with her, I felt like darth vader who's standing beside sunshine barbie. not only about the appearances and costumes, but also in the life scene also. miss.darth vader with her real-life star trek scenarios and miss.sunshine barbie gets her lovely barbie-world family, ken, haouse, and everything nice, just like a bedtime story for little girls.
from the star wars movies
and miss sunshine barbie.
notice the differences? everybody does.
it slightly gives a bit of thinking when you were like a darth vader standing next to miss.sunshine barbie all the time, which she's so irresistible for everybody.
that's not the point.
every girl is born beautiful - in their own ways.
they have their own life, not to be compared with to any other person.
you don't have to be another person to be interactive. you don't have to imitate or pretend to be somebody else.
your own way is more genuine and ultimate for yourself.
you're beautiful in your own unique, interesting way.
trust me. ;)
and for my last words,
let me just quote one of the famous darth vader's sayings:
the tittle of this post is not referring to the name of a rock band.
it infers the superman, as in the super man.
ok, I think we get it.
my superman is dead. for me.
all the left for me now is just the clark kent. the normal citizen who I might not know.
I used to love my superman, and my love to him is just like a black hole; it's infinite divided by zero. but when it's done, love is just like a sick wound. I feel a real pain, I think I'll die, but eventually I'll recover well - with scars which I can never erase, which prove that I'm still alive.
the process of being recovered itself is not easy. I was holding on to the pain because it's all I have left. but I don't have to. I have a choice.
and being recover in love,
it doesn't mean I was hanging out with some random guys or any other kinds of revenge to my pain. I need to realize that he's still part of me, and always be. it's a fact, and I cannot deny it. I'll just accept that fact and move on.
Felisma - Born in 1992, I'm now taking my undergraduate in Universitas Muhammadiyah Yogyakarta on IPIEF program (International Program of Islamic Economics and Finance). Thanks for visiting my blog. Hope you enjoy it like enjoying a piece of apple pie. You'll love my blog, I promise :)